Went to the temple!

Many who know me well knew that I was very nervous about receiving my endowment. Because what is done in the temple is so special and sacred, it is kept confidential. Although many things that happen in the temple are not discussed, we can know some things about the temple and that is what helped me prepare emotionally and spiritually.

Endowment is defined as the following by John A. Widstoe, 

“Let me give you a definition in brief. Your endowment is, to receive all those ordinances in the house of the Lord, which are necessary for you, after you have departed this life, to enable you to walk back to the presence of the Father, passing the angels who stand as sentinels, being enabled to give them the key words, the signs and tokens, pertaining to the holy Priesthood, and gain your eternal exaltation in spite of earth and hell” (Brigham Young, Discourses of Brigham Young, sel. John A. Widtsoe [Salt Lake City: Deseret Book Co., 1954], p. 416).

Here is quote by Boyd K. Packer discussing similar things,

“The ordinances and ceremonies of the temple are simple. They are beautiful. They are sacred. They are kept confidential lest they be given to those who are unprepared. Curiosity is not a preparation. Deep interest is not preparation. Preparation for the ordinances includes preliminary steps: faith, repentance, baptism, confirmation, worthiness, a maturity and dignity worthy of one who comes invited as a guest into the house of the Lord…. We must be prepared before we go to the temple. We must be worthy before we go to the temple.” The Holy Temple, Packer, pg. 26

Because we are not allowed to know much about the temple before we go, I was obviously nervous about it. My roommates and others knew that I had a few cry sessions because I was just so nervous. Like most people in this world, I do not adjust to sudden change very well. 

In that quote, it talks about how we need to be prepared to go to the temple and that curiosity is not preparation. That really stuck out to me. I tried my best to prepare in any way I knew how. The following quote really helped me relax and feel less anxiety.

 “If you are going to the temple for the first time it is quite normal for you to be a little unsettled. We are naturally anxious about the unknown. We often become nervous over new experiences. Be at peace. You are going to the temple. You will have someone to assist you at every turn. You will be carefully guided- be at peace.” The Holy Temple, Packer, pg. 58

To prepare, a month prior to going to the temple for my endowments, I would attend the temple and read The Holy Temple by Boyd K. Packer. This is the main book suggested by the LDS church for temple preparation. This book doesn't contain specifics of the temple, but teaches many valuable things that helped me keep my mind open.

I also talked with many people about their experiences in the temple. While we are not to discuss certain things about the temple, we can openly share our feelings that we had while there. One of my best friends, Jenna Webster, who is going on her mission to Kentucky, describes her experience very eloquently here.

Despite my precursor of worrying and anxiety, I had an amazing experience at the temple. I felt good the whole time. Obviously I don't remember or understand everything that I learned but it was such a great experience. I honestly thought something would happen that I would question or that would shake my faith. I told my siblings that "I kept waiting for the weird part to happen and it never did." I'm not quite sure what I expected, but nothing seemed too odd to me. I thought it was quite miraculous that I didn't feel that anything was too weird because that was not true of other people's accounts. Many people I talked to thought things were different or strange, but that was not the case for me.

I know that God answered my prayers. I prayed that I would have a great time and that I could have an open mind. It was such a great experience. I have felt so much peace and look forward to go again. I'm so grateful for my parents and siblings and everything they did to help me feel comfortable and loved. I'm so grateful that we have temples on the earth so we can have a refuge from the world. In the temple, I feel such a peaceful feeling. My mind is clear and I just feel so happy and relaxed.

I hope people reading this can understand how good of an experience I had. I was so happy to have my family there with me. I know that the temple will help me prepare for my mission by learning more about the gospel truths. The temple puts things into perspective for me and helps to eliminate feelings of anxiousness and inadequacy. I encourage everyone who has a chance to attend the temple as much as possible. It really is such an amazing place.